In Gottman therapy, how would you best define a 'bid'?

• A. An attempt by one partner to engage the other, emotionally or physically
• B. A formal request for a meeting
• C. A sarcastic remark
• D. A boundary-setting statement

Answer: (A)

Bids are moments when one partner reaches out to connect with the other, either emotionally or physically. In Gottman therapy, a bid is any attempt to engage the other person—verbal or nonverbal, big or small, such as a question, a smile, a touch, or a request for closeness. This is the essence of bid: it’s an initiative to connect, not a formal request, a sarcastic remark, or a boundary statement. How the other person responds to that bid—turning toward, away, or against—then becomes a crucial predictor of relationship warmth and stability.