What are The Four Horsemen, and what is one key antidote for each?

• A. A repair attempt is a plan to separate; critical because it reduces conflict.
• B. Criticism – Gentle Start-Up; Contempt – Appreciation and Respect; Defensiveness – Take Responsibility and non-defensive response; Stonewalling – Physically self-soothe and schedule a comeback
• C. Criticism – Ignore the partner; Contempt – Laugh at partner; Defensiveness – Blame the partner; Stonewalling – Walk away permanently
• D. Criticism – Express anger only; Contempt – Withdraw affection; Defensiveness – Refusal to apologize; Stonewalling – End relationship

Answer: (B)

The main idea being tested is recognizing the Four Horsemen of relationship trouble and knowing one effective antidote for each. The Four Horsemen are destructive communication patterns that predict relationship trouble: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. For criticism, the best antidote is a Gentle Start-Up, which means bringing up a concern without blaming or attacking your partner, using specific observations and “I” statements to keep the conversation collaborative. For contempt, the antidote is Appreciation and Respect—actively noticing and expressing gratitude for your partner’s positive qualities and actions to restore warmth and reduce hostility. For defensiveness, the antidote is taking responsibility and responding non-defensively, which involves acknowledging your part in the issue and avoiding blaming the partner, inviting a more productive dialogue. For stonewalling, the antidote is physiological self-soothing and scheduling a comeback—calming yourself when overwhelmed and agreeing on a specific time to revisit the discussion, so the conversation can continue constructively.

That pairing in the option aligns with Gottman theory, showing how each negative pattern is countered with a concrete repair strategy. The other choices describe approaches that don’t fit the antidotes or even undermine the possibility of healthy repair, such as ignoring concerns, escalating contempt, blaming, or ending the relationship.