What is the role of compliments and surprises in maintaining a healthy marriage?

• A. They help to build affection and keep the romance alive.
• B. They are unnecessary and superficial.
• C. They should be rare and unexpected only once a year.
• D. They replace trust and commitment.

Answer: (A)

Compliments and surprises fuel positive interactions that strengthen the emotional bond between partners. When you notice and express genuine appreciation, it signals warmth, respect, and attraction, which helps build and maintain affection and romance. Thoughtful surprises act as emotional deposits, reinforcing goodwill and keeping the relationship lively, so partners feel valued and connected even through daily stresses. In Gottman terms, they support a favorable ratio of positive to negative moments, helping the relationship stay buoyant and resilient.

The idea that compliments are unnecessary and superficial misses how crucial ongoing affirmation is for long-term closeness. Suggesting that surprises should be rare and only yearly ignores the need for regular warmth that sustains romance. And those gestures cannot replace trust and commitment, which require reliable, consistent behavior and shared values; compliments and surprises complement, not substitute for, those foundations.