Which antidote corresponds to Contempt in Gottman’s Four Horsemen framework?

• A. Appreciation And Respect
• B. Gentle Startup
• C. Take Responsibility
• D. Physiological Soothing

Answer: (A)

Contempt is the most corrosive of the Four Horsemen, showing disdain, sarcasm, and a sense of superiority toward your partner. That mindset erodes connection fast because it communicates that your partner’s feelings and person are beneath you. The antidote is appreciation and respect—actively choosing to notice, name, and value your partner’s positive qualities, contributions, and efforts. Regularly expressing gratitude, acknowledging the good you see in them, and treating them with dignity shifts the dynamic from scorn to warmth. This helps restore safety and fondness, which are essential for lasting connection.

Other options address different patterns: Gentle Startup aims to initiate difficult conversations more kindly, but it doesn’t specifically counter contempt; Take Responsibility targets defensiveness, not contempt; Physiological Soothing helps with Stonewalling by calming the nervous system, not contempt.