Which of the following is a core conflict-management skill recommended by Gottman?

• A. Gentle startup; Physiological soothing; Start with repair attempts; Use softened language.
• B. Aggressive argumentation; Blaming; Withdrawing; Escalation.
• C. Ignoring the problem; Denying feelings; Refusing to listen; Punishing the partner.
• D. Public shaming; Humiliation; Retaliation; Silence.

Answer: (A)

Gottman’s approach to conflict management centers on de-escalating tension and keeping the relationship emotionally connected while working toward a solution. The best option embodies this by combining a gentle startup, physiological soothing, starting with repair attempts, and softened language. A gentle startup helps prevent defensiveness by avoiding blame at the outset. Physiological soothing lowers arousal, so both partners can think more clearly and listen better. Starting with repair attempts signals a willingness to mend the interaction even when upset, keeping the focus on resolution rather than victory. Softened language reduces hostility and makes it safer to engage, which is crucial for constructive dialogue. Together, these practices form a practical toolkit that counters the usual downward spiral of conflict. The other options depict patterns that escalate or shut down dialogue—aggression, withdrawal, denial, humiliation—patterns Gottman warns against because they erode trust and connection.