Which practice is NOT recommended in Gottman's conflict strategy?

• A. Soft startups
• B. Turning toward bids for connection
• C. Maintaining positive affect
• D. Withholding affection during disputes

Answer: (D)

The key idea here is how to keep conflict from spiraling into a damaging cycle by fostering emotional safety and connection. Withholding affection during disputes undermines this. When warmth is withdrawn, the relationship feels unsafe, defensiveness rises, and partners miss chances to repair and reconnect. Gottman’s approach emphasizes keeping a soft, nonblaming start to conversations, actively turning toward your partner’s bids for connection, and maintaining positive affect to sustain safety and collaboration during disagreements. These strategies help de-escalate tension and preserve the relational bond, making resolution more likely. In contrast, withholding affection sends the message that closeness is unavailable, which stalls repair and fuels distance.